Researchers discover what the pleasure and attraction in the partnership really depend on
At some point the air is out in every love relationship. But there are ways to keep the attraction longer. A scientific team of Israeli and American researchers has now found that the reason for this is the different needs of men and women outside the bedroom. Accordingly, it is not enough to just be “just nice”. Instead, the partner's needs should really be addressed. But most couples don't talk openly about it.
When couples have been together for years, the partner's sexual attraction often diminishes. Scientists have now discovered that it can be enough to always be there for one another and to take mutual interests into account. Support and interest in problems can improve the partnership and also increase attraction. The doctors published the results of their study in the journal "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology".
Study examines hundreds of couples
Hundreds of couples participated in the study. They all had to keep a diary over a period of three weeks. In the book, they then reported on their sexual desire and additionally on their perceptions of the reaction and behavior of their partner, the scientists explain.
Know the emotional needs of your partner
Our research has shown that couples who are more responsive outside of the bedroom are better able to meet their desires, explains co-author Professor Gurit Birnbaum. If you are always approachable and know the emotional needs of your spouse, this shows a deep understanding of the partner.
Respond to each other and always give yourself support
It is certainly important to be nice in a relationship. This behavior does not specifically affect the partner and may ignore the interests or problems of the person we live with, says Professor Birnbaum. It was therefore even more important to respond to the partner, to know his interests and concerns exactly. Common interests and activities, or even household chores, can also improve sexual desire.
Be your partner's best buddy
If you always go through thick and thin with the partner and are there for them, the relationship feels special and unique, the authors explain. This would make the other person feel valued and desirable, which in turn means that sexual attraction is maintained. If you feel that your partner is like your best friend and you can tell him everything, they are on the right track, the experts explain. Of course, this does not only apply to young couples, even older people who are no longer so keen on physical love can certainly benefit from more attention and responsiveness.
High responsiveness increases cohesion and desire
The so-called responsiveness is something like a special form of intimacy. It is so important in relationships because it signals the partner's real interest in his or her wellbeing, the doctors say. If partners are affected by the well-being of the other and really want to be informed openly about the concerns of the partner, this increases cohesion and also the desire for the partner, add the doctors.
Sexual desire thrives on intimacy. If this is increased, the desire for the partner also increases. So one of the best ways to have more sexual desire is not great sex, but the elusive sense of responsiveness. (as)